Wednesday, 14 November 2018

Frustrations

I was asked to elaborate on my frustrations, I suppose there are a lot of things that I can be frustrated about concerning this condition. Lack of understanding not being believed that this condition is causing the symptoms it's causing, being told by medical professionals that lymphoedema doesn't cause pain yet everyone I've spoken to says the same. Going to my doctors with lymph nodes that feel hard being sent for MRI scans to be told that there isn't anything unusual with them but how can they be ok when you can run your fingers over them, worrying over a virus and wondering if more nodes are going to do the same.     

Generally most days I wake up thinking what discomfort is my body going to put me through that day, hoping that the weather is going to nice to me I've worked out over the years that the weather plays a pivotal role warmer weather gives me some sort of relieve and the colder the weather the worse the discomfort is going to be. I spend most days with a sensation of my legs being heavy a sensation of being stiff even though I have movement walking too long brings a stiff heavy leg trying to drag my leg along with me, sitting for too long brings its own set of issues, I can't drive for too long without getting a discomfort in my left leg and thigh and recently this pain has gotten to my knee the frustration sets in as I spend the next few days suffering in pain even after a very short drive. 

The frustration of being in pain and the only option you get is that of an opioid, the frustration that brings trying to explain to doctors that your unwilling to take those as that in itself brings another set of issues reading the warning labels to see that there is a list of possible side affects which a lot of them reads could cause death. The last 3 years i have been put on many different prescription drugs, Tramadol was like a bad trip sitting for hours as if I had taken some MDMA but without the pleasure. I had a very short addiction on codiene well my body did but luckily for me, I don't have an addictive personality. 

as I have already written about I have used cannabis for over 20 years which looking back on it now its always been used as medicinal but it's getting harder and harder to find a strain that will help me in one way or another this whole prohibition of a plant has to end we have to have the option to medicate the way we want to it should be or human rights 

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